Under it. On Sunday, I was under it. All of it. The thoughts were swirling, the lies were tempting, the discouragement too real. I woke up heavy for a million reasons: broken-hearted families that I knew, students who were walking through difficult circumstances, the weight of the state of the country and our world.
But I also woke up with a strange unsettledness that I only feel on certain days. It was more than just a bad hair day; it was the fear that everything I was doing was failing. Every insecurity ping-ponged in my head and told me that I wasn’t good enough, would never do enough, and would never have enough. It was hard to worship, hard to feel present, hard to not cry. I felt completely inadequate—like this is “all I am” and I can’t even be good enough at that. My talents (or lack thereof), my body, my skin, my friendships, my capacity, my dreams and my realities all seemed as though they were beating down on me, overwhelmed by the lies of the enemy.
God’s Word says the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, and this is something of which most of us who follow Jesus are aware. The enemy was coming for a full-on, full-force attack on Sunday morning and I was in the throes of the battle feeling like I was the only one fighting. I felt alone, discouraged, frustrated, and overwhelmed.
Have you been there?
Yesterday I had a friend (well, a boss… but when it’s a pastor they don’t like the word boss usually… something about humility and foot-washing stuff I think) who asked me how I was doing. I said, “Good, I think. Yeah, I think so.” He looked at me and said, “Ok… what does that mean?” I told him about Sunday—it was hard to worship and hard to fight the battle zone in my head.
You know what he told me? It was revolutionary. Completely mind-blowing. Can I tell you what he told me?
Ask for help.
Sheesh are you kidding me. Like are you KIDDING ME. Duh, me.
He said to let him know when that happens so we can rally a couple people and pray—that’s the way to take care of that stuff, because our battle isn’t flesh and blood, it’s spiritual, and you have to go after it in that way.
My friends, if in ANY WAY you feel “under it” today—overwhelmed by attack and lies and sadness and discontentment—ASK FOR HELP !
Text someone, call someone, email someone. Start with Jesus, then reach out to other human beings with the Holy Spirit because they are the God-bearers in this world. Together, linked arm-to-arm, we fight on one another’s behalf and [get ready this is deep] rise above it.
To the enemy I want to say:
Jesus is the Name above all names, and I belong to Him.